THE GUARDIANS need to talk about loss and grief too.
So they had their own sessions separate from the children where they learned
- how to identify the changes in a child caused by loss and grief and mourning
- how to deal with those changes
- how to help restore the child to their former self as a process after loss and mourning.
Each parent shared their story talking about their own childs experiences for those who had lost spouses or about their nieces and nephews or friends children who they had guardianship over after the death of the children's parents. When one spoke the others listened so intently. I saw nods of agreement, heard sighs of acknowledged hardships, and saw in many faces identification of shared challenges and pain.
ABUSE is a repulsive deceptive intruder that seems to always find its way into a child's life during times death and loss ans grief.
I was numbed by the number of times I heard that some of my children had been abused in one way or another as a result of orphanhood.
It cut deep to hear the parents retelling some of the statements and questions spoken and asked by the children.
"I don't belong anywhere"
"The kids at school wont play with me because I have no parents"
"I will die alone in this world"
"I am a vagabond"
"Why do you take care of me anyway?"
"Please dont ever leave me or send me away"
It was heartbreaking yet as they shared, discussed in smaller groups and presented their findings you could see the scales fall from their eyes. You could tell they were maybe for the first time realising the effects of death and grief on the children they are looking after and realising that they have a big role in ensuring that the damages caused by death and grief are not permanent on a child.
You could see them realising that they have perhaps the biggest stake in restoring the orphaned child emotionally, psychologically, mentally and even physically to a place of happiness, identity, stability and security in themselves, their lives and their futures.
And in that session we saw the guardians embrace that responsibility in a new way. #beautiful
We also covered the important issues like when to tell a child they are orphaned, and how and why to do it. And How to deal with the repercussions.
It was truly #lifechanging.
★That's true mentorship. That's true impact. Thats true #CHANGE.
★Starting with families, to change communities, and then cities and then nations.
